Conflicted Feelings, Or Why I Stopped Hoping And Learned To Hate Valentines Day

I have always been mentally conflicted over Valentine's Day.

Part of me (the common sense part) knows its a stupid fake holiday constructed to sell cards, candies, flowers, nice dinners through an overpowering sense of guilt and obligation (which are the two worst reasons to do something 'nice' for the person you love) disguised as 'ROMANCE.'  The thought of a person anguishing over a purchase intended to appease the demands or requirements of their valentine (who is supposed to love them regardless) really upsets me.  That's why after a few years of trying to observe the day, and never feeling good about it... common sense Sara sets the bar impossibly low.
i.e. we don't 'celebrate' Valentine's Day.

The other part of me (the girl part) (no.. not the physical girl parts... get your mind out of the gutter...the part of my mind that was socially conditioned to respond to 'girl' stimuli- i.e. 'Love Actually' and cats in booties) still believes that maybe there is such a thing as romance?  And maybe if someone really does love you, they will manifest it through surprise cards, candies, flowers, nice dinners?  The girl brain sees flower deliveries and candy hearts and gives them a lingering side-eye of envy immediately after common sense brain did the full-on eye roll.

Though common sense Sara and girl Sara still battle over the deeper meanings of Valentine's Day- they have reached agreement that thoughtfulness and expressions of love on all the other days are far more important than a single day performance.  And common sense Sara and girl Sara both know that the husband who would assume the role of 'Valentine' does an amazing job of making her feel loved throughout the year.

So, win?  Yeah.

To further suss out my conflicted feelings- I copy/pasted a list of pros and cons about this day of 'ROMANCE'

PROS:
1.
From a high school friend's post on facebook (he's an EMT):
I just picked up a gentleman who's wife passed away 4 months ago. 2 days after their 51st anniversary. He hates valentines but his wife loved it so he's wearing red socks and a red shirt for her. He still has her license in his wallet because he always carried it for her. Anyone think they can beat that? He laughed when I told him about giving my wife a wedgie for valentines.


(skrilla note: real love should be celebrated, right?)

2.

These are good.

3.
THOUGHTFULNESS = MAKES PEOPLE FEEL GOOD

4.

gawww, this guy.  doing something mischievous.

5.
Its nice to feel special and loved.



CONS:
1.
From an IM convo with my brother:
Skrilla:
    I hate valentine's day so hard
    fuck any holiday that excludes single people.  because single people are the fun people.
    couples are boring.  and hallmark is an asshole.
    and nobody wins on this day.
    (except for my insulin levels.  after I steal all the free candy from reception)
DT:    lol

    I couldnt have said it better myself.

2.
From an IM convo with an unnamed source:

    yesterday one of the commercial guys was all anxious because he hadn't bought flowers and was worried  

    that his girlfriend wouldn't like them if he ordered them from somewhere

    it was kind of sad.

(skrilla note: ungrateful bitch... this is why us cool girls have [to pretend] to hate Valentine's Day) 

3.

(fuck them)

4.

OBLIGATION =/= ROMANCE

5.

OBLIGATION == RESENTMENT

These equations get confused.  And then all tangled up.  And then its not fun for anyone.  

6.
Being on the sidelines.  And that constant FOMO (Natalie's amazing name for our shared disease- the 'fear of missing out')

So, there you have it.

I will mull it over for next year.